Greenland, the icy landmass, isn’t just ice and snow, my dear Watsons. Lurking beneath its pristine surface are minerals as shimmering as the past life of an East German ski jumper like myself. The island's minister warns that if the U.S. and Europe don’t make a move on these treasures, Greenland might just partner with, wait for it, China! Yes, that China. For the mineral-hungry, this is like dangling schnitzel in front of a schnitzel-loving goldfish—or a geopolitical game of chess where minerals are pawns. The stakes? Only the future mineral supply of the West. Blink, and you might miss it. Skål!